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Jayden und Verwelkt's MSTs
Because the bad deserves to be mocked.

Hikaru "Jayden" Morinaga-Jaye posting in The MSTs of Jayden und Verwelkt (and the poor saps
user: sailorvfan10
date: 2011-04-01 20:49
subject: (no subject)
security: Public
Tags:!closed
this community is closed, at least until it gets revamped.
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Hikaru "Jayden" Morinaga-Jaye posting in The MSTs of Jayden und Verwelkt (and the poor saps
user: sailorvfan10
date: 2011-03-21 02:03
subject: [POKEMON] "The Reign of a Pokemon Master" by Minna Kinotome
security: Public
Tags:minna kinotome, pokemon

The Reign of a Pokemon Master by one Minna Kinotome (who has been MST'd here before) literally got a "what the fuck" reaction out of me, so congrats, Minna Kinotome, you are made of fail with this.

You pulled me out of bed for this?

Yes, Schuldig, I did.

Fick du, I'm going back to bed. [turns to leave]

No, you're not.

You're not my boss.

I'll give you something nice if you stay.

[raises eyebrow, smirks] 'Something nice' in the form of what?

Whatever you want.

[snorts] Anything I want, ja? All right, I'll stay.

It's probably not what you think it'll be, but if it makes you stay then whatever.

Chapter One:The Return of the Pokemon Master

it's hideous!Collapse )

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Hikaru "Jayden" Morinaga-Jaye posting in The MSTs of Jayden und Verwelkt (and the poor saps
user: sailorvfan10
date: 2011-03-19 01:14
subject: [WEISS KREUZ] "Schwarz erhob Sich" by kimi-lee2 [Part 1/3]
security: Public
Tags:kimi-lee2, snark, weiß kreuz
So I'm still all by myself. I don't mind really, because the boys need some time away from me.

Anyway, today's fic is Schwarz erhob Sich (English: Black rose) by kimi-lee2 And now for the return of...THE SCORE CARD:

CHARACTERIZATION: 3/5
PLOT: 1/5 (Seems to be your typical "There are these girls and they're cool" plot)
WRITING: 2/5
AMOUNT OF TIMES SCHULDIG'S HAIR IS DESCRIBED AS ORANGE: 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss or Schwarz. I do own the plot, Karen, Tatianya, Jerilyn, Eryn, Casey, and Kent.

Ah, so already I know it's Sue fic with awesome names like Tatianya, Jerilyn, and speshul spellings like Eryn (instead of Erin). And I just had Fire Emblem 7 flashbacks with Kent. When I first read this I actually went, "wtf Kent you're in the wrong fandom!"

Maybe the author is a Fire Emblem fan? I don't know, man. I don't know.

A/N: Finally I'm typing this up! I've had the story in a notebook for ages now! Though its not complete yet, I know where this one is going. Sorry for Oocness...I'm trying to cut back on that. Oh as for Eryn carrying a gun into a diner...it only seems natural for her to want to protect herself. Please read and review.

Why apologise for OOC when you can just, uh, go back and correct that? Seriously, it's not that hard. Yeah, it's been lying around, but... Surely you can spruce it up a bit? "Cutting back", in short, isn't really, uh, good enough. This isn't like smoking where you decide to cut back from twelve packs a day to eight, or cutting back on sugary things.

As for your gun-toting Sue... Guns are illegal in Japan for citizens to carry. So if she was found to be carrying one? She'd be arrested. No, I don't care if your Sue looks badass. She's being stupid and breaking the law. Besides, does she have any real reason for carrying one aside from 'wanting to protect herself'? No? Then she doesn't need one and can think of other ways to protect herself, like maybe taking a self-defence class.

Chapter one

*DUN DUN*Collapse )

[The chapter is over. Jayden realises Schuldig's one hand is on her thigh and she shoves him away.]

J: What did I say before?
Schuldig: You said you didn't mind!
J: I didn't mind your arm around my shoulder, I didn't give you permission to touch anything else!
Schuldig: You don't even mind, and besides, it's not like I was touching your tits or anything important.
J: I hate you.
Schuldig: You say that but you don't mean it.
J: ...

[Jayden gets up]
J: You drive here?
Schuldig: Ja.
J: You fit to drive?
Schuldig: Of course. Crawford would never let me drive shitfaced.
J: Then go back to your darling Crawford so I can get some sleep.
Schuldig: That's not what you want~
J: Schuldig.
Schuldig: [gestures to the bedroom that just appeared]
J: ...
Schuldig: Crawford probably knows by now anyway.
J: [sigh] You smug bastard. All right, fine. But I'm sleeping on the couch then.
Schuldig: You're no fun.
J: I don't feel like getting my head blown off by Crawford, thanks.
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Hikaru "Jayden" Morinaga-Jaye posting in The MSTs of Jayden und Verwelkt (and the poor saps
user: sailorvfan10
date: 2011-03-17 23:46
subject: [WEISS KREUZ] "Sleeping with the Enemy" by animechic16
security: Public
Tags:animechic16, snark, weiß kreuz
Today I'm all by myself, so I decided to snark a bit of fic, specifically this one I found on the front page of the WK archive on FFN. It's Takatori/Aya and, let me warn you, it does have rape. So if that's a trigger to you, be forewarned about the fic. I try not to mention most of the sex scene, but be careful all the same.

The snarking of 'Sleeping with the Enemy' by animechic16.Collapse )

Over all the author seems to have a good grasp on her writing skills and Takatori/Aya could be done if one really thought about it hard enough, but as an excuse to torture Aya? Takatori has people for that, they are called Schwarz. Takatori's not going to dirty his hands--he is a politician and has a reputation to uphold.

Then again anything can be done if the author handles it well. I wouldn't necessarily say that Aya is OOC, but there are some things that make me go, "Aya wouldn't do that," such as all the cursing.
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Hikaru "Jayden" Morinaga-Jaye posting in The MSTs of Jayden und Verwelkt (and the poor saps
user: sailorvfan10
date: 2011-03-04 04:38
subject: [FIRE EMBLEM 11] "Erupting fire amoung vampires" by Dark Miana
security: Public
music:Big Bang & 2NE1 - Lollipop (areia remix)
Tags:dark miana, fire emblem

Name of Story: "Erupting fire amoung vampires" [sic]
Author: Dark Miana
Summary: What if the birth of a baby girl could ruin the whole world's chance of survival? Marth X Oc
A little about the fic: Marth is now Soma Cruz a vampire hunter and he knocked up some Mary Sue named Miana (sound familiar?) and blah blah There's This Girl And She's Cool. I've seen better vampire hunter AUs in Weiss Kreuz fandom and they suck there too.
MST'd by: Jayden und Verwelkt ([info]sailorvfan10, J), Lelouch Lamperouge (Lulu), and the ever sarcastic Schuldig.

J: The author is fourteen, guys.
Lulu: Does that mean we should go easy on her?
J: No, I'm just telling you. She's relatively new to the site and to fanfiction in general.
Schuldig: Excuses, excuses.
J: She also claims to be goth so we got one of those poseur-gawths on our hands. Prepare for emo and Deep Wangst later on.
Lulu: So what's this story about?
J: Basically Mary Sue #1 seduces Marth so he won't leave her, she gets knocked up, he leaves her, MS#1 gives birth to Mary Sue #2, whose hands hold the fate of the world or some shit. Also, vampires, and Marth is now Soma Cruz from Castlevania: Sorrows.
Schuldig: Isn't this like any other vampire AU that's ever been written?
J: Well.
Lulu: Oh boy.
J: To be quite honest, it reads more like original fiction with Marth just shoved in there against his will. You'll see.
Lulu: Do I want to?
Schuldig: Do we have a choice?
J: No.

Across a thousand blades...Collapse )

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Hikaru "Jayden" Morinaga-Jaye posting in The MSTs of Jayden und Verwelkt (and the poor saps
user: sailorvfan10
date: 2010-12-12 21:41
subject: [GUNDAM WING] "after endless waltz" by catlover123456789
security: Public
music:Daughtry - No Surprise
Tags:catlover123456789, gundam wing

Name of Story: "after endless waltz"
Author: catlover123456789
Summary: summary is inside but will be slash and 3x4 1x2x3
A little about the fic: It's a Gundam Wing fic, which you'd assume would be enough information, but there are some goodfics in this section somewhere, so I need to elaborate. It's basically a badly written fic about stuff that happened after Endless Waltz and I, for the life of me, can't figure out the plot. Does it even have one?
Why it's here: Well I think I basically said it all. It said, "Fuck you!" to grammar, spelling, characterisation, and basic things a story needs like a plot. According to the author's profile (which is filled to the bursting with all those 'copy and paste this into your profile if X' things), she is going into the eighth grade (which means, I guess, that she's in seventh) and barely old enough to be on the site. But when I was her age, I could write better than this fic. And I wrote crap back then.
MST'd by: Jayden und Verwelkt ([info]sailorvfan10, J), Lelouch Lamperouge (Lulu), and the ever sarcastic Schuldig.

J: First, just to give you a taste of what this fic is going to be like, I will present to you part of her profile: hey.even though im going into 8th grade it probably is childish to like to watch shows about fairies but i still like to watch it.i won't put any stories up for a while. i writers block.
Lulu: *winces*
Schuldig: So she's an illiterate primary schooler. What else is new with the authors on this site?
J: Schuldig...
Schuldig: What?
J: No making fun of the author.
Schuldig: [rolls his eyes]

J: Now onto the fic!

Schuldig, hand me your lighter.Collapse )

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Hikaru "Jayden" Morinaga-Jaye posting in The MSTs of Jayden und Verwelkt (and the poor saps
user: sailorvfan10
date: 2010-08-10 03:48
subject: [Weiß Kreuz] "Original Sin" by Ray-Chan [Part 3/8]
security: Public
music:Rammstein - Wo Bist Du?
Tags:ray-chan, weiß kreuz

Story Title: Original Sin
Perpetrator: Ray-Chan (website is here)
Summary: Hormone driven Brad(17) falls for wittle Schugy(11). Shota lemons? YUM!
MST'd by: Brad Crawford (Crawford), Schuldig, Jayden (J)
Reason It's Here: I think the summary says it all. Schuldig--who is eleven in this fic--is acting all kawaii uke desu and Crawford's suffered from a transplated personality. Second, Schuldig doesn't even act like a eleven year old, unless he's developmentally challenged, or he's supposed to be five, or maybe the author's never been around eleven year olds in her life. In short, who the hell are these people, and why are they acting like characters from Papa to Kiss in the Dark?
Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

J: Hello again!
Schuldig: You woke me up for this?
J: Oh please, you weren't even asleep, you were just staring catatonically at the ceiling listening to German heavy metal.
Schuldig: I sleep with music on so I don't hear Crawford's mundane mutterings at night in his office.
Crawford: [scoffs] Mundane to you maybe, but I can assure you they're about very important paperwork. Paperwork you wouldn't understand.
Schuldig: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a fuck.
Crawford: I came back from Italy for this stupid thing. Don't make me regret it.
J: You see the fic we're doing--that's enough regret right there.
Crawford: Let's just get this over with.

Ugh, it still sucks!Collapse )

J: Hey guys, this MST is done.
Schuldig: Did Italy teach you anything...exciting?
Crawford: It did.
Schuldig: Well what the fuck are you waiting for? Show me.
J: As much as I find this erotic, I'm gonna go hunt some more badfic and totally not video tape this and upload it to Youporn.

[Crawford taught Schuldig what interesting things he learned in Italy on the couch; Jayden went off into the other room to find more sporkable somethings.]</font></div>

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Hikaru "Jayden" Morinaga-Jaye posting in The MSTs of Jayden und Verwelkt (and the poor saps
user: sailorvfan10
date: 2010-07-04 00:34
subject: [SMASH BROS] "The Junior League" by Minna Kinotome
security: Public
music:Sailor Moon - Nothing At All
Tags:minna kinotome, smash bros

Story Title: The Junior League
Perpetrator: Minna Kinotome
Summary: What would happen if the Smashers had children and they had follow in their footsteps?
MST'd by: Lelouch (Lulu), Schuldig, Jayden (J)
Reason It's Here: Can we say 'Mary Sue'? Not only that, but there's several of them, but the major pain in the ass seems to be Rochelle Mekkai, the daughter of Link and some other Mary Sue who's also a self-insert. Did I mention it's bad?

J: We have a repeat offender here guys.
Schuldig: Well it can't be that bad story named "Original Sin" or whatever since Crawford's not here.
J: Well as much as I wanted to do part three for it, Crawford said he had a meeting and wouldn't be back until tomorrow.
Lulu: So what did I miss whilst I was gone?
J: Not much aside from learning just how the hell you pronounce Schuldig's name.
Schuldig: Nothing you'd care about anyway.
Lulu: Oh. Well, what are we doing today?
J: Today's fic is called "The Junior League" by repeat offender and Mary Suethor extraordinaire Minna Kinotome.
Lulu: Hey, isn't Minna Kinotome y--
J: And you'll see why it deserves to be here once the film starts rolling.
Schuldig: //Smooth, Jayden. Smooth.//
J: This one's short in that it was one chapter before it was discontinued, so it's a good, uh...
Schuldig: Commerical break?
J: Yes, Schuldig.

What an ungrateful bitch!Collapse )

Lulu: Well that was abrupt.
Schuldig: That's okay, any longer and I would've killed someone.
J: Not according to your contract.
Schuldig: It just says I can't kill you or any of your guests. It didn't say anything about anyone outside of here.
J: I'm amending your contract now.
Schuldig: Tch.

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Hikaru "Jayden" Morinaga-Jaye posting in The MSTs of Jayden und Verwelkt (and the poor saps
user: sailorvfan10
date: 2010-07-03 01:39
subject: [Weiß Kreuz] "Original Sin" by Ray-Chan [Part 2/8]
security: Public
music:Enya - Trains and Winter Rains
Tags:ray-chan, weiß kreuz

Story Title: Original Sin
Perpetrator: Ray-Chan (website is here)
Summary: Hormone driven Brad(17) falls for wittle Schugy(11). Shota lemons? YUM!
MST'd by: Brad Crawford (Crawford), Schuldig, Jayden (J)
Reason It's Here: I think the summary says it all. Schuldig--who is eleven in this fic--is acting all kawaii uke desu and Crawford's suffered from a transplated personality. Second, Schuldig doesn't even act like a eleven year old, unless he's developmentally challenged, or he's supposed to be five, or maybe the author's never been around eleven year olds in her life. In short, who the hell are these people, and why are they acting like characters from Papa to Kiss in the Dark?
Parts: 1 | 2

J: Yes, there's a part two to this nightmare.
Schuldig: Hurrah.
Crawford: I...am not sure how I should react to this.
Schuldig: I think a 'kill it with fire' reaction would be appropriate.

For the last time, it's SHOOL-DICH.Collapse )

[Crawford is furiously typing up last minute additions to said 'something important'; Schuldig is busy lining up his six Bloody Marys, two tequila shots, and four rums mixed with Mountain Dew so he could get loaded and also get his caffeine fix for the hour. Jayden, on the other hand, was left with nothing but the TV for company. And of course the next chapter for this monstrocity, but that was hardly company.]

J: I miss Lelouch. He didn't bicker with Schuldig all the time.
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Hikaru "Jayden" Morinaga-Jaye posting in The MSTs of Jayden und Verwelkt (and the poor saps
user: sailorvfan10
date: 2010-06-07 23:40
subject: [Weiß Kreuz] "Original Sin" by Ray-Chan [Part 1/8]
security: Public
music:E.M.U. - 104ºF
Tags:ray-chan, weiß kreuz

Story Title: Original Sin
Perpetrator: Ray-Chan (website is here)
Summary: Hormone driven Brad(17) falls for wittle Schugy(11). Shota lemons? YUM!
MST'd by: Brad Crawford (Crawford), Schuldig, Jayden (J)
Reason It's Here: I think the summary says it all. Schuldig--who is eleven in this fic--is acting all kawaii uke desu and Crawford's suffered from a transplated personality. Second, Schuldig doesn't even act like a eleven year old, unless he's developmentally challenged, or he's supposed to be five, or maybe the author's never been around eleven year olds in her life. In short, who the hell are these people, and why are they acting like characters from Papa to Kiss in the Dark?

Schuldig: So I'm suddenly eleven years old again?
J: Indeed.
Crawford: ... This fanfiction story made me a pedophile.
Schuldig: I like older men, but this is ridiculous. I wasn't having sex at eleven.
J: So when did you lose it?
Schuldig: I was thirteen, thank you very much.
Crawford: Can we just start this thing? The sooner this is over with, the sooner I can go back to my important paperwork. [glares at Jayden]

The only sin that's been committed is the writing and posting of this fanfic.Collapse )

Crawford: I can't believe I signed on for this entire fanfiction story.
Schuldig: I can't believe I had no say in this to begin with.
J: Oh quit your complaining, it's not that bad. Yet.

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